Taking Steps FOrward
Feeling stuck in your grief? Does the idea of taking steps forward seem impossible?
You know…you might find it difficult to get out of bed and go through the daily routines of taking care of yourself. You start to get way behind on attending to responsibilities. The sight of your loved one’s belongings keeps you away from certain areas of the house because you find it too upsetting.
On this page, based on encouragement from the Scriptures, I share seven steps you can take to move forward in your grief.
I don’t mean moving on, as if you’re forgetting about your loved one, I’m talking about taking him or her with you in a sense, but at the same time you’re taking steps forward in life. The Ministry GriefShare referenced the concept of moving forward as described.
Step # 1: Be alert to the reality of spiritual warfare.
A couple of Scriptures come to mind that encourage us to stay alert, pursue Christ and what He wants, and to remain focused on and faithful to Him.
"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11).
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8).
Spiritual issues resulting from unhealthy ways of coping with grief can prevent us from moving forward. Christ provides us with the ability to break free from the chains of unhealthy grief.
Step # 2: Acknowledge the Lord.
This applies as you go through each step of your grief journey.
The passage that comes to mind for me is Proverbs 3:5-6, which says,
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; And lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, And he shall direct thy paths."
How does the Lord direct you in your grief? He leads you to the next steps in terms of what you need to do to cope.
Step # 3: Take refuge in the Lord.
Once we acknowledge and pray about the journey of grief, our souls benefit from extended time in the Lord’s presence. Solitude helps, but to spend a significant amount of time with the Lord to process your grief allows you to experience His strength.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1).
Step # 4: Seek support from others.
I don’t necessarily mean joining a grief support group. If you’re ready, by all means go for it. Such a group, at least for many people, is an excellent tool in the toolbox when it comes to coping with grief. However, in the broader sense, it’s important not to spend all your time trying to cope alone. Get help.
See the following passage:
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Step # 5: Set daily goals that are reasonable without being too hard on yourself.
Yes, you need to get stuff done.
You know, pay monthly bills.
Organize items around the house and clean up.
Run errands.
However, you want to set reasonable goals—that is for a to-do list every day. I suggest a list because I find them helpful. You might want to take mental notes of what you need to do, and that’s fine too.
If you try to do too much, the emotions of grief can start to overwhelm you due to added worries and stress. If you don’t complete a certain task, allow yourself some grace and hold off until the next day.
What you don’t want to do is let everything go where things pile up. Keep moving forward, but give yourself permission to take baby steps forward.
If you need help, it’s okay to ask someone.
I have attended a church, in which members are so good to follow up with people who have gone through some type of hardship. They call, deliver food, pray with people, as well as help with transportation or running errands.
The Bible passages that have helped me with this sort of thing include the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:34:
“Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (NIV).
Implied is the message—take one day at a time when it comes to coping with grief and handling the tasks that are before you.
Step # 6: Evaluate your health
One of the steps in the grief process that GriefShare encourages is to see a doctor for a health evaluation. The emotions of grief, as in any crisis situation, can affect you physically. Consider the following verses from Proverbs:
"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones" (Proverbs 14:30).
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”
“A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:13-NIV).
“Bright eyes (a cheerful look) gladden the heart;
Good news refreshes the bones.” (Proverbs 15:30, NASB).
Step # 7: Focus on the needs of others.
The idea of reaching out to other people does not diminish your own needs. Genuinely care for people. However, you can support others as a way of coping with grief.
"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ" (2 Cor. 1:4).
In my Grief support groups, people tell me how helpful it is to them in their grief journey to help others who are also grieving. It’s also a way God can use our pain and bring good out of our circumstances.
Hope these steps help as you attempt to move forward in your grief journey!
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For three Scripture passages in particular about coping with grief, check out my page: Dealing With Grief and Loss (encouragementscriptures.com)